KungTulle
Trådstartare
Hittade det här postat på annat forum, handlar om pojkar men kunde lika gärna gälla flickor!
Läs och njut att era barn inte har gjort det här... (ÄN)!
Raising Boys
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25 if its got batteries, they will take them for toys sooner or later
26 if it can be broken, it will be broken
27 kids always wake up earlier on saturdays and sundays than on school days
28 kids will always invite someone over when you haven't got a thing already cooked for dinner
29, you can never answer the same question enough times
30 the guilty one is always "the other"
31 nobody will be guilty, no mater how much you investigate,
32 no amount of candy is ever enough
33 buy enough and of the same color (whatever) because if different, is enough to start a war
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I agree completely with you, as father of one boy and four girls......
worst things I recall having done as a kid, that gave my parents headaches:
*dissasembling every portable radio that I coud get a hold on (to get at the bulbs/things that glow)
*setting a cat on fire (it hid inside the water pipe that goes form the roof to floorlevel, I poured a couple litters of gasoline from the roof opening and lit it, it burnt all my hands and eyebrows too), cat ran to a sewer and moend for days , before dying (I guess..) mother gave me a good spanking
*loosing the master keyring with all the keys to every door on the farm (were found after the spring, when all the water puddles dried, it was in one of them....
*grinding about 15 usd worth of matches to make gunpowder and fire a homemade cannon (it blew, but we were smart and fired it from a safe distance....) the ¡boom!! alarmed everybody in the house, another good spanking
*putting a hot knife on my brother's leg (gave him a second degree burn, poor guy was using short pants) why? I don't know, but sure, I got spanked again
*taking a pistol to the back of the house without permission (age 5) and getting knocked unconsious after firing it (I put it next to my forehead, to line up the sight) it was a colt huntsman .22 ( I still have it, my father gave it to me at a later age, so I should not forget how dangerous guns are)
*getting caugh in school with a gun (age 17) and almost expelled. but since my father knew about it, the principal just gave me a warning not to bring it again.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
/KT
Läs och njut att era barn inte har gjort det här... (ÄN)!
Raising Boys
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25 if its got batteries, they will take them for toys sooner or later
26 if it can be broken, it will be broken
27 kids always wake up earlier on saturdays and sundays than on school days
28 kids will always invite someone over when you haven't got a thing already cooked for dinner
29, you can never answer the same question enough times
30 the guilty one is always "the other"
31 nobody will be guilty, no mater how much you investigate,
32 no amount of candy is ever enough
33 buy enough and of the same color (whatever) because if different, is enough to start a war
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I agree completely with you, as father of one boy and four girls......
worst things I recall having done as a kid, that gave my parents headaches:
*dissasembling every portable radio that I coud get a hold on (to get at the bulbs/things that glow)
*setting a cat on fire (it hid inside the water pipe that goes form the roof to floorlevel, I poured a couple litters of gasoline from the roof opening and lit it, it burnt all my hands and eyebrows too), cat ran to a sewer and moend for days , before dying (I guess..) mother gave me a good spanking
*loosing the master keyring with all the keys to every door on the farm (were found after the spring, when all the water puddles dried, it was in one of them....
*grinding about 15 usd worth of matches to make gunpowder and fire a homemade cannon (it blew, but we were smart and fired it from a safe distance....) the ¡boom!! alarmed everybody in the house, another good spanking
*putting a hot knife on my brother's leg (gave him a second degree burn, poor guy was using short pants) why? I don't know, but sure, I got spanked again
*taking a pistol to the back of the house without permission (age 5) and getting knocked unconsious after firing it (I put it next to my forehead, to line up the sight) it was a colt huntsman .22 ( I still have it, my father gave it to me at a later age, so I should not forget how dangerous guns are)
*getting caugh in school with a gun (age 17) and almost expelled. but since my father knew about it, the principal just gave me a warning not to bring it again.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
/KT
